Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Teehee

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

For some strange reason, that i cannot fathom, my betrothed sent this last one to me in an email... Care to venture a guess why? (Hint: he is a HORRIBLE driver!!)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Happy Valentine's/Family Day To You

A belated Happy Valentine's Day to each of you... even those of you who don't like/believe/practice this (slightly over-commercialized) lovey-dovey day.

I, for one, had a beautiful February 14th. *sigh*

I was in Edmonton with my husband-to-be (HTB). Who, contrary to popular belief, can be romantic. Besides the wonderful gifts (the trip there, a gigantic stuffed puppy, chocolates, and a delicious dinner out) he gave me cards. Can you believe it?! I barely could. He's not the most, erm, eloquent man you will ever meet. I can count the number of cards i've gotten from him in the last 7.5 years on my thumbs, with two to spare! (Alright, i have gotten the little cards that get stuck in flowers as well as birthday and Christmas cards, but with only his name written in them, so they don't count as much as this).

This year he gave me a funny one, which i appreciated... But secretly i was hoping for a gushy sweet one. And the next day, i got one! And another one the next day!! Seriously it was the funnest carding ever.

Oh, and we managed to squeeze in watching both Season 1 and 2 of Grey's Anatomy. Yes, we were just that lazy. And it was great. I also coerced him into watching When Harry Met Sally and French Kiss. It was Valentine's Day! I refrained from bringing out the big guns: Pride and Prejudice. I think i should wait until after the vows to try that one! Haha.

I gave him chocolates (which i helped consume :)), a sweater (which was too big), his guitar amp (which technically was his already, but i lugged it there in my suitcase), and an airplane/boat/remote-thingy. An Airhogs Storm Launcher, to be precise. Wowee, i picked a winner. Who'da thunk that a little children's toy would bring such joy to a... well to HTB. But it did! We had to go to the park and play with it everday. He had to phone two of his brothers to excitedly rant and rave about it. Ah, it feels good to have picked a keeper.

February 19th was Family Day in Alberta. How cool is that?! SOOOO cool! (Ahh, i miss Homestar Runner Teen Girl Squad). So i got to stay with HTB an extra day, and he got paid to spend it with me! I just learned that our south-of-the-border friends got that day off too, but you have to realize that we go FOURTEEN WEEKS between New Years and Easter with no holiday. And it's NOOOO good! (Wow, two in one... not bad).

So, ya, we had a fun time and now i am sad to be away from him again. Buuuuut, soon-- soon i won't have to keep flying away from him! Yippee skippy!

Friday, February 02, 2007

In the words of my friend Mick,

Old habits die hard...

Being a student really isn't as fun and exciting as i remember it being. Okay, so i'm only taking one course-- and it's a first year class at that. Haha. (Although, i must say-- to gather sympathy and such-- that it's a statistics class. I honestly think it might be worth it to poke my eyes, just to relieve some of the pressure from the horribleness of it all). And yet, i still haven't learned anything.

Yes, my friends, i phoned my betrothed* at 5:30 a.m. (which is already 6:30 his time) to say good morning. And goodnight. Because i, not having learned my lesson from 4 years of university, was just going to bed then after finishing an assignment that was due this morning. Well, technically it was due last week, but the prof graciously gave me an extension. LOL, and still, i am down to the wire.

So you can understand why my evil cold has managed to do a full recovery to grossness what with only one and a half short, but oh-so-sweet hours of sleep.

On a happier note, i went to visit the fam in K-town last weekend. And i am going again today!! Aaaaaand, in only 11 more sleeps i am going to Edmonton to see the man i love. See? Life is good, even when sleep deprived!

*I am purposefully not using "fiancé" because i am trying to boycott French.