Sleep and Babies

I'd just like to say that if one more person tells me to "enjoy/get lots of sleep now before the baby comes" i just might punch him or her in the head.  What is wrong with you people?!?! Do you not have relatives or friends who can watch your baby while you have a nap??  Seriously! 

Besides, it's not like i have nothing to do for the next four months except friggen hibernate! Sheesh! First of all, this strange little alien has taken over my body, making sleep pretty near impossible the last four months (yes, i know my math doesn't add up, shutup).  Also? Ever hear of trying to finish a degree whilst incubating a human being?! Not the easiest thing to do... It's not like i can just ignore my school work and lay down to sleep every time the spirit moves me.

On to the next rant... Haha.  During my first trimester i put up with people saying ignorant things like, "Oh? You're due in April and not graduating until August? Hm, not very good planning. What were you thinking?" [I jest you not, IIF, i've heard this SEVERAL times!!].

I've grown (literally! ha!) and gotten smarten.  Now i reply, "Oh, i was thinking... 'I'm horny and my husband is really HOT'... and that's where my thinking stopped and my feelings took over!"  (I also add a polite smile for good measure).  Take that stupid-dumb-heads and keep your retarded comments to yourself!! :)

Good thing my hormones are so well balanced these days. LOL.

SURPRISE!!!

Let the countdown begin

Last week i had a crap day that included deleting my five page assignment i'd just finished writing, spilling my cooked veggies all over the kitchen floor, and splashing the boiling water used to cook the aforementioned veggies on my hand.

Needless to say, it was a desperate time that called for desperate measures.  So! I dug out my Christmas music (YAY) that i'd promised all my bah-humbug friends would wait until Nov.1, cranked it up and hopped on my new elliptical trainer.  Just what the doctor, erm, NURSE ordered.  It worked!

On Friday we were driving to clinical and as i was switching cd's i heard Christmas music on the radio!

Me: Oh my gosh! Christmas music.

Jameson: No way, it's like illegal for radio stations to play Christmas music so early.

Me: No, seriously, i know my Christmas music.

Radio announcer: Just a little preview of what's to come; some Christmas music to get you in the spirit. Starting December first we'll be playing straight Christmas music for the month of December.

Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I can't help it if the radio is playing it... it's not like I put a cd on or something.

Jameson: [unconsciously started humming along]

Because, seriously, who can help it-- everyone secretly loves Christmas music.

Let the countdown begin... Only a month left of school (minus exams) and then... HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I did it!

I started SIX IV sites today! Yay. Count them, 1-2-3-4-5-6!!!

Probably one of the worst things in the hospital is having to get poked a million times to initiate an IV site, so i've always wanted to be a fantastic IV nurse who can get the really hard veins the first time... And i did! Okay, well there wasn't any really hard veins i suppose, but still!  I didn't blow out any veins; i got them all on the very first attempt.  I am so happy and i feel like a real live nurse now. :)

Oh, and almost as exciting: i administered my first fleet enema today. LOL.

Summer Fun (in mixed up evil-blogger order)

Uncle takes over in the tube and picks up the pace a bit!
Haha, this is what i do while everyone else is playing! :)

Maria's maiden voyage on a kneeboard.
Joel wake-boarding under the new bridge in Langley.
Joel rocking the kneeboard.

My darling nephew copying his uncle by napping on the front of the boat and hanging his legs over the side.

My sister and her son cruising on the bow.
Steph and Ade out for a ride... Oh Ade, why can't you ever have a straight face?!
Out on a sandbar in the middle of the river! (From construction of the new bridge).
Karen and Caleb tubin'... For over and hour!

Sigh

Now i have to change my blog address because my husband found it and is SPYING ON ME!!! LOL

Goldilocks

As JM and I were pulling in the driveway after a 16 hour journey to get home, i said, "I cannot wait to have a hot bath and go straight to bed." Famous last words...

As we entered our suite (which is not separated from the house upstairs, where relatives live, by any locks), i was pleasantly surprised by how nice our friend had left it. He had stayed here for two months and was here a week longer than when we left in June. No strange smells, the spare bed neatly tucked away, no garbage left.

Well, a few things were in the garbage-- mostly kleenex and q-tips-- which was slightly annoying because there was no garbage bag in the can. Quite unlike our tidy friend who stayed here. I had been quite firm before we left that i didn't want ANYone down in our suite. (Except the boys upstairs have to come down to do laundry, which is right at the bottom of the steps). In fact, i was going to lock the doors to the bathroom and our bedroom, just to discourage any notions of pirating, but alas, i forgot.

Evidence that someone was (Ew!) using my tub:

• nasty orange-ish-brown scum from the waterline down, thick across the bottom
• extra towels laying around
• kiddie shampoo on the shelf (odd, no?)
• a woman's razor (not my brand) left uncovered on the edge
• a tee-shirt that says "Staff" on the back (and initials of a neighbourhood group on the front-- i will track down the offender!)
• MY candles half-burnt surrounding the tub and littering the countertop

Evidence that someone was (Ew, ew, ew!) using my bed:

• the laundry i'd left on the end of the bed was moved off
• (i'd put clean sheets and everything on my bed just before we left, so it'd be ready for us to jump in when we got back)
• the top sheet was laying on the floor at the foot of the bed (?!)
• (if you are going to be a jerk and use things without asking, at least have the decency to keep a sheet between you and my duvet!)
• a book on one side of the bed and a magazine on the other (king size bed-- chances are, not the same person)
• two glasses and a beer can on the night table (my husband doesn't drink beer and neither do i)
• white ladies Lucy shorts... complete with rolled up lacy g-string (gag) left beside the bed
• (these promptly found their way into my garbage can, which had a bag in it by this point)
• receipts from both July and August

Needless to say, instead of relaxing and crawling into bed, i immediately went into a cleaning frenzy.  I haven't seen the suspected perpetrator yet, which is a good thing.  Hopefully by the time i do, i will have calmed down a bit! :)

Beijing 2008

Since I know it seems like i have my head stuck in the sand, or have left the planet, i thought i'd set a title acknowledging world events...

~~~~~

I have had a wonderful summer thus far... Nothing too exciting, just relaxing and restful. My poor husband (haha), i told him i would get a part time job this summer, but conveeeeeeeeniently, the summer has gotten away on me and, alas, no job fell into my lap. Haha. So while my wonderful man goes off to work everyday, i... Well, i'm not sure what i do everyday... But i know that in three weeks I'll be back in school and stressed to the max.

One year. I have one year left until i am a fully licensed Registered Nurse. Eeek. It's quite overwhelming considering how little i know. lol. Hopefully in this next year i will be a sponge and soak up everything i need to know. Please don't come to my hospital and get sick for at least two years-- by then i will be super-nurse!

~~~~~

Okay, since i am typing away, I will take a moment to harass my friend who reads my blog and who i am housesitting for right now...

Before leaving for three weeks, our friends gave us some very specific directions for taking care of their house, including but not limited to:
-No stinky socks or feet on the couch
-Don't wear shoes on the carpet
-Always use coasters under glasses
-Sleep in the guest bedroom (not theirs)
-Don't turn the stereo up past xdB
LOL, balancing between being offended and peeing myself laughing, i told her to stop before we changed our minds about looking after their house! All in all it was pretty funny.

To top it all off, she has adopted a CHICKEN. No joke. There is a bit of a run-down place across the street that has chickens. Apparently, one of them wandered over here and was little and cute, so my friend took to feeding it. She claims it's the best pet ever because it's really quiet (just a few peep-peeps) and cheap (a buck for bird seed is not bad!). HOWEVER, the thing poops like there is no tomorrow! There are two deck chairs out on the porch that the chicken loves to perch on and poop off the side. My friend just places newspaper under it to keep things under control.

My house-sitting services do not include cleaning up chicken poop.

I have not fed the chicken since our friends left two weeks ago. I figured the silly little thing (granted, it's kinda cute) could jolly-well walk back across the street when it got hungry. I couldn't figure out why the chicken was still hanging around, pooping all over the porch. One morning i was watering the garden and walked between our house and the neighbours and found a water and food dish out on the lawn!!! Gah! Evil neighbours with their gated porch! The chicken eats their food and then comes and poops on our porch. Grrrr.

~~~~~

Okay, enough is enough... I must go look for my camera cord that i've lost again. Sigh. A blog without pictures is like... Well, something boring anyway.

I've missed you all!! Now i'm off to catch up on your blog!

Feuf, two down, four to go!

Okay, so i have a sad, neglected blog. But the good news is: a) school is off for two weeks and b) i finally found my camera cord, so things are definitely looking up for the blogging business!! :)

One quick story: I lost my passport while we were moving. Correction: my husband lost my passport while we were moving by insisting on putting it in a "safe place" so it wouldn't get lost. LOL.

So now, when i want to travel (I'm going to Vegas next week! Wheee!) I have to rush to get my new passport. And jump through a hundred hoops because i don't have my old one-- including lawyer involvement. (Christine, where are you when i need you?!) At the passport office, the lady said I can pay $10 to come and pick it up in two weeks, instead of waiting for it to get mailed out to us. JM opted to wait extra and save ten bucks because he didn't need his right away.

I was given strict instructions to drive straight to the bank after picking up my new passport and keep it in a safety deposit box when i'm not traveling because if this new one gets lost or stolen before the old one expires (two years still), i will not be issued a new one.

My oh-so-submissive husband pipes up, "What's the big deal? The old one is invalid as soon as the new one is processed, so nobody can use the old one."

Response, "SIR! This is not a Blockbuster card!! It is an Official. Travel. Document!!!!!"

Ohhhhhhh, my mistake. How foolish of me to think that this two hundred bucks i shelled out and hours of driving around and filling out papers was for a movie store. Silly me.

My smart-alec (no offense, jess ;)) husband took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something, but luckily i was able to pinch him- hard- in time to keep him quiet. haha.

Besides me losing my passport during the move, i would venture to guess that most people who lose or have their passport stolen are actually traveling, not sitting at home. So i'm not exactly sure what paying for a safety deposit box for two years is going to accomplish. But oh well.

Oh ya, and to top it all off, I'm not scheduled to pick up my passport until tomorrow (but i'm gonna try today *cross fingers*), but JM got his in the mail FOUR days ago! Good thing i paid ten bucks extra to "rush" mine. Sheesh.

Oh well, who really cares. The main things are that: i've finished exams, and passed everything, thereby completing my second of six semesters; i'm leaving for the coast tomorrow to see the fam; i'm going to las vegas next week for a girls weekend (which apparently, half my in-laws are also "randomly" going to be there-- another story for another time); life is good.

Open Fire

My friend Chuck in my class at school had an funny story from last week:

He brought a patient his dinner. The patient took one look at it and yelled, "You people treat me like a dog! What is this crap?!" He continued the tirade for a bit with Chuck trying to placate him, but not sure how to. Then the disgruntled patient said, "Now i understand why someone would come in here with a gun and open fire on all you!"

Can i be reassigned? ;)

Come here, let me stab you

Guess what! I did my first real injections today. (Unfortunately the first one was on myself while i was trying to get the lid off the needle. lol.) Anyhoo, besides that little mishap, it went really well and i think i'm really going to enjoy stabbing people! Any volunteers...?

MC and HNY

That's, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year." My apologies for not blogging. Again.

I have been quite busy and have now started my first clinical rotation for nursing school!! Yay. We have the best clinical instructor ever, but she always keels over laughing at us and repeatedly tells us that she does not remember ever experiencing what we do-- perhaps she learned things through osmosis that we are learning through trial and error. Haha. Oh, the stories i could tell. Sadly, i don't have time to write them all, but i must share a couple of highlights with you...

Day 1:
While trying to change a patient's brief, she peed on me. Three times. No, it's not a typo-- Her regular nurse told me to transfer my patient to her wheelchair in order to clean her up (because her bed was soaked) and then help the patient stand up against her bed rail while i whip on her new brief and pull up her pants. I followed instructions carefully and had her clean pants around her ankles and the fresh brief strapped half on so that she would have to stand for as little time as possible. As she stood up, she began to spray all over the freaking place. I had no clue what to do, so i just got her to sit back down again.

Second verse, same as the first... I went and got a second set of clothes and dry brief and started the process all over again, with the same results. This time, i grabbed the soaker mat from her wheelchair and held it between her legs, trying to catch as much as possible and to prevent splashing. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but after trying unsuccessfully to contain the flow, i simply got her to sit back down again. Half way through this episode she was like, "I'm not sure, but i think i might be peeing."

Feeling slightly thwarted, i sheepishly went and asked the nurse for help so as not to soil a third set of clothes.

Day 2:
After helping a patient to the toilet, she took a wad of t.p. and looked like she was trying to wipe. I asked if she was finished and she said no, it's a bit stuck, and i need to get in there and help it out. UMMMM... No? I told her to try and relax and just pull the call bell when she is finished. I went and asked her nurse if that's required (some people do need some help!) and found out no, she shouldn't need help, but she always asks for it. Also, a little heads up to check the patient's hands when i go to get her off the toilet because she often will do a little digging on her own. (Me: GAAAAHHH). Sure enough, i'm gloving up to go back in and i see my dear friend (fellow student) wiping off our patients fingers!

Day 3:
A friend was working with our instructor to change a wet brief on a patient who was not conscious. As they took off the old one, the patient's bowels decided to start moving. Slightly. Like, passing things half-way. Not sure what to do, the student looked to the tutor for help and was instructed to "pull it out." After doing this (myself and two other students had walked in on this tragedy/comedy show), the tutor instructed her to "manually stimulate" the bowel and see if she could get him to finish the job. The nurse-to-be literally fell back from the bedside in horror. Her facial expression alone was enough to put us and the tutor in stitches.

The next day in our pre-conference chat, the same girl asked the instructor if there was a proper way to "manually stimulate" someone. The tutor had a hard time answering because we were all peeing ourselves laughing. We finally got out of it that simply inserting a couple of centimeters of your finger into the anus should do the trick. Student: "So we don't have to wiggle it or anything?" The tutor responded with a stunned look and then barely controlled laughter again as she said No! My friend couldn't breathe from laughing so hard, but held up her finger and wiggled it as she gasped, "Well, he got a little wiggle yesterday!!"

Day 4:
A patient was found to be MRSA+ (this is a nasty hospital bug that puts patients into isolation and nurses into glove and gown mode) and needed help toileting. Two of my friends went to help her. Several minutes later, i wandered down the hall to see what was taking them so long (we were late for our break!). One of them is standing at the inner door to the patient's room, madly waving her arms at me. (There are two doors to some rooms, with a small area in between). I motioned that i would gown and glove up, but she shook her head no and beckoned me to hurry. As i opened the door, they started laughing and said that the inner door locks from the inside to prevent patients from wandering. When they'd realized they were locked in, they'd pushed the call button, but nobody came. Our vivid imaginations had us all playing a part in an Alias episode involving nuclear substances that kill the scientists as they try to escape from the room, but all you can see is their faces melting down the glass...

So, as you can see, my schooling has been full of exciting adventures thus far!